So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. š
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him āBeast Modeā. So. Many. Orgasms.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
