i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
