New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
