i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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