This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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