I just found puke in my bra..
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
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I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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