Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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