Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I need a beard to bite.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
