I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
i out mim tonsoeep
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