Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Randomize
