"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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