Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
