there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
well, you know. whores of a feather.
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