Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
