You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Randomize
