I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
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