you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Randomize