You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like Dick and happiness
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize