your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
