i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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