Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
