i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
