i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
