Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize