meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
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