TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
