i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
