My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
