I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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