I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
You have to summon your inner elephant
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
