My friends, they love my intelligence
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Randomize
