dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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