I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
do nipples grow back?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
