Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
