Dual....:-)
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
