sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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