Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
