and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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