Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Randomize
