we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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