Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
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