i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
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Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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