I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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