I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
