I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
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