This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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