Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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