Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize