You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Randomize