who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
