I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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