pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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