That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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