just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
you had me at cake vodka
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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