We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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