You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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