Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
