We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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