I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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