i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
