if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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