my vag is so smooth its legendary
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
