i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
he told me I talked like a deaf person
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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