Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Randomize
