Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
